I'm so t.u.r.d tired

I could f.a.r.t faint.
Tug got home last night. He has been out of town all week. I didn't go to bed until about 2. Get your mind out of the gutter. He didn't get home until about 10, then we started catching up on TV. We watched American Idol--take it, take it, take it. One Hollywooder lives in a little town about 10 minutes down the road. Once we went to bed, Tug was snoring in my ear within 2 minutes. Last I saw it was 2. Ham came into our room at about 6. I am tired. I turned on cartoons and we got on the couch under the buckeye blanket. I started drifting, SP started crying. I went to get SP, started changing her diaper, started pulling on a wipe and it wouldn't come out. Kept pulling, started holding one end and pulling the other to separate the wipe. Nothing would happen, it would just stretch. Finally pulled the whole wipe out only to find it was actually a pair of SP's tights. Any guesses on who would do such a thing? Mine is 3 little letters. H.A.M.
Thanks for the nice words on the video (also via email). I know I sound like a jackass in it, but if anyone tries and is successful let me know. If I can help just one person in this world *sniff* then I can be happy knowing *sniff* it wasn't all for *snort* naught...